school.

im FINALLY getting my school shit together. i registered for next quarter and im getting my fees cleared away. you have no idea how good it feels to take care of your shit, freal. like i mentioned in one of my old posts, 2010 will be all about my priorities (with a few vacations on the side, hehe).

what my winter 2010 schedules look in like:

Mondays:
- 12pm – 245pm, Effective Speaking
- 300pm – 545, Tech for Business

Fridays:
- 830am – 1115am, Textile Science
- 12pm – 245pm, Merchandise Trend Analysis
- 3pm – 545pm, English Composition

i cant stress how good it feels. missing school in the summer and fall was a big mistake. kinda sucks that im a little behind, but im 100% positive about my school shit now. im definitely going to prioritize school next year when winter starts in Jan (: this schedule is perfect so i can work too! i love it<3

with that said, i cant wait till tomorrow. Day date with my bff Sylvia then clubbin for Giovanni's 21st! holla!

 

i am…

nothing without my friends..

thank you, for those of you who are real in my life..

 

“un-thinkable.”

so for now on, im gonna start talking about random topics on my blogs; things i think MOST people can relate to. esp since most of the shit i write about are things ive gone through or currently feel. my bestfriend Lindsay is seriously, and when i say this- i mean literally, the best writer i know. her writing skills are incredible. she inspires me so much to write, even if it has to do with nothing! (& my grammar sucks so i should practice lol). plus, it feels really good to let everything out. even if its sorta to myself :)

but anyway..

so in my most recent relationship, i had someone who was unbelievably down for me. someone who drove over an hr to come rescue me without hesitation– no matter how late it was at night (when i use to have BIG arguments with my parents) he still came. he always listened to me when i needed someone, like, it was sooo easy for me to open up to him. he showed me allllll the time how much he “loved” me. everyone knew how he felt and saw the GOOD guy that he was. seriously, no one has ever treated me the way he did. it was amazing. too good to be true type shit. gave me all the attention in the world. dropped everything for me in a heart beat. e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. i cant even begin to explain what he did for me.

but, i didnt feel the same way.

its funny how when you have what you should want, you dont want it at all. does that make sense? i dont know why or how it works that way.. but apparently in my world it does.

i usually go “hungry” for someone whos already taken (i know, im sucha bitch but whatever) or someone i cant have. basically someone who doesnt even give me half the shit my ex gave me. everyone says “its the chase” or the fact that “its not easy”. no one wants things easy all the time. cause when its easily given, wheres the fun in that you kno? i dont know what my point is, but it just kinda sucks when you care about someone and you have no idea if they even feel the same way.. =\

its becoming something thats impossible to ignore..

but yah, im tired. i ran a few blocks 2 hrs ago and my thighs are throbbing like shit. goodnight<3

 

meow.

 

i should talk.

now that i think about it, i do the sameee exacttt thinggg.
so why am i mad?
i guess it sucks when it happens to you.. ugh.
one word: k-a-r-m-a.

 

dear lie,

its so sad that even if your at fault, IM the one who ends up missing you. why am i the one whos hoping you’d call, txt, or aim me? why am i thinking about you, what your doing, who your with, and wondering if you think of me? (wow, i feel like i just wrote a song -__- lol.) i cant wait till all this goes away, till i dont feel anything for you anymore.

im tired of missing about you.

anyway, words cant explain how much i NEED this dog…

 

brand new.

got rid of my stress caused by some heartless fuck.
cleared up and fixed my living situation.
getting paid today.
got my bills and everything else organized.

why yes, i feel much better.

 

video phone – beyonce ft. lady gaga

i love this video <3

 

creepy

its creepy how sometimes, when your reallyyyy going through something, your horoscope is HELLA on point.. i guess i better just sit back, relax, and see where this’ll take us me.

It’s challenging today for you to know whether your thinking is the logical extension of the facts or if you are just making up a story based upon what you want to happen. But instead of worrying about where your thoughts are coming from or where they might lead, just let yourself go with the mental flow now, without trying to control the outcome.

 

gross.

i hear you talkin boo, but we just dont believe you.

i just looked at my old posts and they all make me sick. fuck everything i said cause that fag wasnt worth shit. i cried my last tear tonight. hearing everything he had to say was so bullshit.

you’ll regret this.

anyway, i get paid tomorrow. FINALLY. xmas shopping & clothes shopping for my love<3 i cant believe shes growing so fast.. :( shes the only thing that matters to me. i cant believe i let someone else close to my heart.. UGH, biggest mistake of my life.

lol gross, this blog is so emo. but.. whatever. gnight <3